Wednesday, May 21, 2008


I reflect everyday what I have done in the day and sometimes when things happen and I reacted strongly, I feel pretty bad about my reaction at times. Guiltly, I will apologise for my part which I feel I have done wrongly. However, in the eyes of others, they take it that they have no wrong and even took the opportunity to bully you further. I hate it when I apologise too early.

Weakling. I am. Bullied by people younger than me. In the end, I was wrong and they who have erred, ganged up to boycott and ignored me. It doesn't bother me much, but I just feel wronged. Very wronged. When chipped, they didn't feel that they are in wrong but what I am. Imagine them having the mentality that all the wrong doings are right since the rest of them does it and no one find out about it. They who have told to respect me, continued to defy me in their devilish many little ways. Despite all the scoldings and reminding, I am still nothing in their eyes.

I am not even craving for their attention. I am not even asking them to bootlick me. It just plain respect I am asking for and they could not do it sincerely. I start to wonder if they could not have understand English or really they just could not accept the fact that they have to respect me. It's ME. One who hold junior post in the company, one could be addressed by name instead of mdm, one whose work has no importance and can be dragged.

People... It is just astonishing how fast they learnt to be "pragmatic" ... Should get them to watch于旦's 论语心得before coming in !


日光。玉 said...

"One who hold junior post in the company, one could be addressed by name instead of mdm, one whose work has no importance and can be dragged."

This post reminded me of a similar experience that I had when I was younger. So want to share my thoughts with you.

Just want to say that after 6 years in the company, I've decided that I should not be too affected by people thinking that I am just a junior officer and that my work is not as important as that done by another officer. What matters to me is that I believe that my work is important and that I am contributing. The day I start thinking that my work is not important would be the day I leave the post/organisation.

Because, in the larger scheme of things, everyone is junior when compared to someone more senior. Every piece of work is less important when compared to something major. But the reverse is also true, I am more senior when compared to someone junior and my work is more important when compared to something less pressing. The comparison will never end and we can choose which side of the coin to start examining.

It's a food chain issue and even if I don't rank very high in the food chain, I don't have to feel low. Because... in the big foodchain, there are sales persons, the drivers, the cleaners and all... things are not so bad for me... but then and again, I am sure that there are cleaners, salespersons, and drivers who are happier than those high up in the scale!

So don't feel small. At the end of the day... it really doesn't matter.

Respect, everyone wants it. But it has to be earned at times. But when we get it, it's nothing to get cocky about. When we do not have it, it's nothing to lament about too, because some nice people can't obtain respect too. It's a weird thing, really... so don't let it get into you.

I think the most important trait would be to be humble even if one achieves greatness. And when one is not great by social norms, to remember that there's nothing wrong to be just a drop of water in the great ocean.

Photosophize said...

I believe my situation encountered is very different from what you have encountered.

I wasn't affected that I hold junior post and I do hold a junior post and that is the truth. However, the issue here lies with the attitude of those people.

They are lowest of all in the foodchain, but yet they chose who to butter up and who they should respect and just because people like me have no clear authority against them. Worst, when told that I do have authority, they refuse to obey/respect the decision. (That in army terms, would have to be mutiny isn't it?)

It just doesn't seem right in this sense to use "Respect has to be earned". If you are the lowest chain, you just have to accept that fact and swallow whatever bitterness you might have as it is a fact that the person is steps above the foodchain than you.

A lot of times, people forgot their rank in the foodchain and thought they are more superior than others, thus did a lot of unnessary display for attention. I would like say, I am still very cleared headed about who I am and where I belonged in the food chain.

I have written this post because I am just too affected by their arrogance. They have crossed the line and have display insubordination towards me constantly.

It just disgusted me sometimes to see those people acting as if they are so righteous when in actual fact, they are in the wrong.