Saturday, March 27, 2010

Something is missing…

I had a lot of this kind of feeling recently that something is missing in my life. Like I missed out doing a lot of things which I should have been doing.

Somehow I am needed to mature very fast, I felt. I did not have the opportunity to do things which people my age should be doing. Then again, people also tend to forget my age and set different expectations of me. Is this how Michael Jackson felt? Grow up too fast and did not get to enjoy what normal people should have been doing?

Why? Where have time gone to? What have I been doing all these years?

I walked into school with envy at times watching groups of people in their society clubs. Why didn’t I do that in school? I totally missed that phrase.

Why am I into cooking and god knows whatever couch potatoes hobbies which I had? Why am I not a least bit more outgoing? Why?

Am I really that creative? Or I shine because there are no one doing what I do. If I am really that creative, why couldn’t I produce work which real arty people does?

I am not. I am just a wannabe. Again, felt trapped. I am trapped in my body. I cannot do a lot of things because I am not normal.

Too late… I cannot get back past time…

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