Saturday, January 31, 2009

Clearing up the Air

Recently, the news travelled back home. Someone told my brother about me. He told my brother somewhere along the lines that “Your sister is very demanding, picky and disliked by many people and oh yes low rank.” When relating these to me, my brother was laughing and shaking his head questioning why I am so hard-stance at work.

I was very angry and hurt when I heard those comments, but still posed calmly and replied that I see no wrong in being demanding. Though our conversion ended there, the comments still lingered in heart, wrenching… Not sure what went wrong with me last year, but suddenly everything I do seem wrong. Are things that I have done really “wrong”? I DO NOT think so.

Firstly, I do not think that being demanding is wrong. I would have been a bitch, if I am demanding on others only, but hell no. I am also demanding with my own work too, in fact much more demanding than I requested of them. Is that wrong? If they had done their work responsibly, can I be picky with properly done work? In actual fact, they just anyhow do my work since it does not earned them much brownies points and on the other hand, I had to close many eyes many times to get myself to accept their work …

On the low rank, which is the most hurtful comment, I have never boasted at home or at work that I am some big shot at work. I confronted my brother on whether I did that which he said no. Knowning that I was upset about it, he told me that guys just like to joke about things and they talked rubbish. Yes, their talk-cock rubbish costed my reputation! He reckoned that I should not have been so hard-stance given my position... which started me thinking the issue they had is my low-standing in office and thus I should not have been so demanding.

I know who I am and where I stand. I always worked harder because I do not want people to stereotype my work abilities because of my size. Trust me, no matter how civilised we are, there are people like that. While there are bosses who recognized that, some don’t. I can still live with that. However, I want to clear this up once and for all especially to my brothers lest they hear the rest of the stupid lies and malicious rumours about me. My conscientious is clear. What bothers me is perhaps some people more equal than others…

After thinking through what was related, I wondered whether my brothers would preferred to hear things like “Your sister is a lazy bum at work, anyhow do work one , always push work to others and oh yes low rank…” If so, I would be gladly to kick off my shoes (hope they hit some of the scums on their head) and relax.

In any case, I will said it again - I have done NO wrong!

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