The morals behind the Journey to the West

To people of my generation, the 1986's CCTV version of Journey to the West is the one and only classic version that should ever exist. 

I don't care whether or not a costume designer from Lord of the Rings had designed the monsters' masks. They don't matter at all. As a matter of fact, I don't like all the colourful dresses and make-ups on these monsters's faces in the 2012 version. They looked odd. 

Over the few weeks, I have been watching DVDs of the original series, reminiscing my childhood. I remembered Singapore's broadcasting station only played this series on Saturday at 3 pm. At 2.30 pm, I will be making my way down to my Grandmother's house to get ready to watch it. 

I remembered Channel 8 will also show an animal documentary after the Journey to the West episode. While watching the animals eating each others up, my Grandmother will add in her views about these animals. It was such great time spending my weekend. 

As I grew older, I have different interpretations on the show. In the past, things are just black and white.  All those monsters who stopped Tang San Zang in his journey to the west are all evil. They should all be eliminated. When I looked back at some of these monsters, I realised that some of them are actually not that evil.

One example is the spider sisters demons They didn't plot to harm Tang San Zang. It was Tang San Zang who bumped into them and disrupted their lives. At the end of the story, you will see that the Mother of Hen God took them in as maids. She only killed their senior, the evil centipede demon.

And of course most of the demons are pets belonging to Gods. They were bored with life at the celestial palace. When fate presents them with the opportunity to escape, they run and have fun down at the earth.

However, there is one part of the show baffled me.  At the very last episode, you would have thought that Tang San Zang and his disciples have finally made it to the wonderful Western paradise to get the scriptures after overcoming all these challenges.

To much of their disappointments, the western paradise isn’t that perfect at all. There are beings with ugly personalities in the paradise and they happened to be Buddha’s disciples.

So what happened is that these two disciples were instructed to pass on the scriptures to Tang. However before they agreed to pass the scriptures, they have asked for a bribe from Tang. Tang and gang couldn’t understand what is going and why the two Buddha disciples have asked for a bribe. They didn’t give any.

To get back to Tang, the two disciples decided to pass them the fake scriptures with no writings. Unknown to the Tang San Zang, he and his gang left the Western paradise happily.

On their way out, they were attacked by a large eagle who snatched the scriptures parcel from them. The books fell out and revealed that they have been duped.

Of course, the jumpy Monkey God wouldn’t have any of these nonsense. He brought everyone back to Buddha’s court and confronted him why they were asked for a bribe from his disciples.

Instead of chiding his two disciples for committing the ugly act, Buddha sided with them explaining that he is aware of the rule and that they were acting on his behalf. He explained that scriptures are not to be given away freely and definitely not free for anyone to take.

He related that many nuns and monks who have collected the scriptures over the centuries were only given meager returns for their efforts of chanting the scriptures. The Buddha thought they were too selling their services too cheaply. Henceforth, he implemented a rule that whoever wants to collect the scriptures should give something precious in return.

I don’t understand this part of the show.

• Why are there ugly beings in Western Paradise?
• Why did they extort a bribe from Tang Sang Zang?
• Haven’t Buddhism taught us that wealth and riches aren’t important? So why did Buddha tolerate their acts and even agreed that he wouldn't let Tang have the sutras for free?
• Didn’t Tang and disciples overcome numerous challenges? Aren’t these enough to prove that they can have the sutras for free?
• What are the morals behind this story plot?

Can anyone explains this? If not, let's have a discussion about it. 

Here is the video of the last episode. 

Of Birth Rights and Assumptions

“Birth rights” - A right, possession, or privilege that is one's due by birth.

I read this TODAY article with interest.

Apparently the NTU Deputy President and Provost, Professor Freddy Boey related in the interview of how life wasn’t all rosy for him in his early days. He had an especially hard childhood.

Prof Boey grew up in a Kampong at Kolam Ayer. He had 10 other siblings and his parents couldn’t earn enough to support everyone.  So from an early age, he had to work alongside his mother to try to supplement the meager family income.

He didn’t do well in school then. He said his parents didn’t care and looking at his terrible grades, he would probably end up in the ITE by today’s standard. It was only when his father nearly made him drop out of school that he starts to pay more attention to studies.

You can read more of how he conquered the challenges and got out of the poverty cycle here.

I like this quote from him the most. Referring to poverty, he said

"It really helps you to be resourceful, to fend for yourself. You don't have the mentality that 'it's my birthright to have this and that', because you assume you have nothing and, from nothing, you have to come up with something." 

I was so inspired by his life story - Work hard and face the odds fearlessly, one day one will achieve the great things that he/she had always wanted in life.

The another news which caught my eye is this:- “Fresh grads expect higher salary, faster promotion: survey”

“A new survey shows recent graduates have higher wage expectations compared to previous years, and they also expect promotion by the second year of work.” 

Read the full article here.

Apparently, people of my generation (Gen Y) are all about getting instant gratification. They made assumptions and tend to think that they have the right of way. 

Who knows maybe they do… 

Happy 47th Birthday, Singapore!

The celebratory mood is in the air today. The sun is shining brightly but it isn't warm at all. Our orchid plant must have pick up the cheerful mood that it bloomed recently. 

Today, it looked extraordinary beautiful when the morning sunlight shone through the petals. I immediately capture the beautiful moment using my DSLR. 

Happy Birthday, Singapore! 

Tales from Kyoto

Few months ago, I remember reading in the papers that more and more young people are taking sabbatical leave to explore places they have never been to or to do things that they like.

The article somewhat stirred up my almost empty soul. As I take stock of my current life, I realised that I am not leading a fulfilling life. Something seems to be missing.

Just as I was pondering over what I can do, a friend took the big step. She decided to take a break from work and Singapore. She packed and left for Japan to study the mystical language and at the same time experience life in the ancient capital, Kyoto.



PHOTO: Morning Sun

Kyoto is a beautiful place and it is full of festivities. Every photo she took looks like a postcard.

If you are interested to visit Kyoto or like my friend interested to study in Japan, please do visit her blog.

http://kyoto-tales.blogspot.sg/

Chung King Express Deleted Scenes

Chungking Express is one of my favourite movies of all time. I found these two videos on YouTube. Wong Kar Wai explains the inspiration and concept behind the movie.

Do women hate beautiful woman?

I was amused reading this article written by a British columnist Samantha Brick titled “Why women hate me for being beautiful”.

In the column, Brick said that her “pleasing appearance” have been a mixed blessing. She shared with examples of how she have had many treats and leeways from men because of her “lovely looks” but at the same time she felt that she was being ostracised by women because of her “beauty”.

In the concluding paragraph, Brick hoped that as she turned 41 year old, the grey hair and wrinkles will quickly appear so that she could blend in the background. And those women who felt “threatened by her looks” will come to accept her for who she is.

“Wow” was my first reaction after reading the column, then it was followed by this thought - “so this is what it takes to be a columnist, hmmm?" (Just joking)

I must say judging from the photos, she doesn't appear to be particularly attractive, looking from an Asian perception. It could be that she is more charming in real person and we couldn’t tell. 

Also from the tone of the article, she had appeared to be very confident of her looks, too confident in fact that it had came off as arrogant. And I thought that she had no more female friends, but yet those friends she consulted seem to share similar sentiments as her that she had been a victim of her looks.

I agreed that good looking people may have more baggages than the average-looking us in proving that they have capabilities as well. 

But why blame all things on looks and not other factors? I thought that was a pretty shallow observation. Why didn’t she and her friend look at things in a more objectively and critically way? Maybe it’s the way she behaves, the way she talks and the way she carries herself that is offending and not looks.

I read an article about body language before and it states that women in general are more sensitive to reading other communication signs. It could be that her body language had offended people even before she speaks.

I find that to be highly plausible after reading her entry, ok column, in greater details.

She wrote that “…but when you have a male boss, it’s a different game: I have written in the Mail on how I have flirted to get ahead at work, something I’m sure many women do.”

Wouldn’t this tell you something about her character? She is quite an opportunist isn’t it? As oppose to her sentiments, I don’t think many woman flirt to get ahead at work. Many women I know get ahead through capabilities and hard work. Then if she is willing to flirt to get ahead at work, wouldn’t she also flirt to get special privileges, recognitions and earn good impressions from men. She must have done so very often that it had become her second nature in front of other women’s spouses as well.

If she still didn’t get it, it is her flirting antics that are putting women off.

I remember reading this quote from twitter and I think it aptly described vain women like her:

Behind all their personal vanity, women themselves always have an impersonal contempt for woman – Fredrich Nietzsche

Monitor Lizard Spotted!

I had a laugh the other day reading Channel News Asia that some Seng Kang residents had mistaken a monitor lizard for a crocodile.

Can't really blame them for mistaking a monitor lizard for a crocodile, isn't it? Singaporeans are mostly city dwellers and it is not like we get to see a monitor lizard everyday.

Anyway, I spotted a similar monitor lizard during a hike. It’s cute isn’t it?

In Full Bloom

I took my Nikon D5100 camera out last week for a test shoot. Here is a preview of its micro function.

A beautiful white flower in full bloom after the morning rain.

Is this the smallest orchid in the world? I remember seeing the Malaysia Tourism Board commercial and there is a brief mention of Malaysia has a species of orchid that is hailed as the World’s smallest flower. I found this particular flower growing among the grass and it looked pretty similar to the one featured in the commercial. Anyone knows whether the smallest orchid can grow in Singapore too?

This is another random flower which I found growing in the grass patch. Its beautiful isn’t it?

Beautiful sights like these flowers are everywhere, but how many of us ever notice their existence?

That 10000th ride

I see life is just like one big ferris wheel. One that is probably bigger than the Singapore Flyer or the London Eye.

One moment, you could be moving upwards to the high point of your life. At the next moment, you could be going downwards to a low point yet again. But neither of these moments are permanent as life is constantly changing and constantly moving.

The game will probably only ends when your turn in a ferris wheel is up and it is time to get off it.

To some, a turn in the ferris wheel is enough. They had already see what they want to see, experience their turn to the fullest and do whatever they want to do in that one turn. Hence, these people will never return. They never believe that they will return anyway. After which, they will enjoy life elsewhere.

To some others, they will continue to queue for a ride in the ferris wheel. Not that they have a choice really, but they had to go onto the ride again and again. They are taught that the action they took in this moment will lead to a consequence in the next moment. The ride will only ended when they finally could see the bigger picture. 

Someone had once did the maths before. It took about 500 turns in the ferris wheel before two complete stranger can pass by each other. Add another 500 turns in the ferris wheel before two of you can even exchange a glance while you are walking down the street. Add another 500 more turns to the total of 1000 turns before the two of them can even utter a hallo and goodbye.

The probability for you to share a capsule in the ferris wheel with some people probably took more than 10000 turns before it can happened.

I am sure if people had knew about the statistics, they would probably cherish the ride more, especially to those people whom they are currently sharing a capsule with… And maybe people wouldn’t be so self-righteous in thinking that they can have an opinion on who shouldn’t be sharing a capsule with who. 

The thing is that not all people stay throughout the ride. Some had to alight half-way through the ride before you even had the chance to know them. You may beginning to make some friends in the capsule. Just as the beautiful sun setting view came on and you turned to them, wanting to point out the beautiful view when you realised they may have already left for another capsule.

It may be sad that you do not have anyone to share a beautiful sun setting moment with, but the big ferries wheel never stops. It may have sunk at this moment, but come tomorrow morning it will rose again just like the sun will always do.

Maybe at the next sun set, there will be someone at your side admiring the beautiful scenery together. Someone who have taken that 10000 rides just to locate the capsule you are in to be with you.

等到风景都看透，也许你会陪我看细水长流。。。

王菲 - 大開眼戒

如基因可以分解再裝嵌 重組我什麼都不要緊 ...



大開眼戒 
曲：阿飛
詞：黃偉文
編曲：PETER KAM


不要著燈　能否先跟我　摸黑吻一吻
如果我　露出了真身　可會被抱緊
驚破壞氣氛　誰都不知我　心底有多暗
如本性　是這麼低等　怎跟你相襯

* 情人如若很好奇　要有被我嚇怕的準備
試問誰可　潔白無比

# 如何承受這好奇　答案大概似剃刀鋒利
願赤裸相對時　能夠不傷你
(但你知一個人　誰沒有隱秘)

當你未放心　或者先不要　走得這麼近
如果我　露出斑點滿身　可馬上轉身
早這樣降生　如基因可以　分解再裝嵌
重組我　什麼都不要緊　假使你興奮
Repeat * #

幾雙手　幾雙腿　方會令你喜歡我　順利無阻
你愛我　別管我　幾雙耳朵　共我放心探戈
Repeat *

如何承受這好奇　你有沒有愛我的準備
若你喜歡怪人　其實我很美

Zou Bisou Bisou

If you have no clue what “Zou Bisou Bisou” meant, you are behind the trend, my friend. :)

It is the hottest song online now, popularised by an American drama TV series set in the 1960s titled Mad Men.

That particular season five episode goes that the main character Don Draper’s new wife had thrown him a surprise party. All of his colleagues and friends were invited.

Just as the rest were worried that Don would be displeased over the surprise party, his wife had the perfect gift to pacify him. Her present for him was a live performance of the song – Zou Bisou Bisou in French.

It wasn’t a difficult task and I don’t think he can stay angry for long in that situation. They were newly wed and she sang the song sultrily. While she made her hubby rather embarrassed, but I think he was quite pleased.

On a separate note, I like her long bob hair. *admire*

Because of that memorable performance in that episode, the song went viral online. The network seems to have predicted the success of this song and it was released as a single on iTunes the next day.

I was hooked on the song as well. Quite catchy and I already can sing the “zou bisou zou bisou” part. Haha.

If you are wondering, the catchy song wasn’t a new song. It was an French oldies sang by a 16 year old Gillian Hills. The video below is the original rendition.

The song title Zou Bisou Bisou meant Oh, Kiss Kiss in English.

And Sophia Loren also sang an English version of the same song titled “Zoo Be Zoo Be Zoo”.

Translated meaning:

Zou kiss kiss {x3}
Zou Zou kiss kiss
My God they are sweet
Zou kiss kiss {x3}
Zou Zou kiss kiss
The sound of kisses
In the bushes, beneath the sky of the month of August has
Lovers glide stealthily
Like birds they go
Is heard everywhere, hoo!
Zou kiss kiss {x3}
Zou Zou kiss kiss
My God they are sweet
Hoo, hoo!
(Kiss kiss Zou)
But tell me, do you know (kiss kiss Zou)
What it means to us
(Zou Zou kiss kiss kiss kiss zou
My God it's sweet)
What it means to shoo kiss?
(Kiss kiss Zou)
That means I must confess (Zou kiss kiss)
But yes I do love you
Kiss kiss kiss zou zou zou kiss
My God it's sweet
But no need bushes of the month of August-a
When you kiss me gently on the neck
For it is curious, you know, I confess
It makes me everywhere, hoo!
Zou kiss kiss {x3}
Zou Zou kiss kiss
My God it's sweet
Hoo, hoo!
Zou kiss kiss
Zou Zou kiss kiss
Of little kisses
Zou kiss kiss
Oh!

Zou Bisou Bisou – French Lyrics

Zou bisou bisou {x3}
Zou bisou zou bisou
Mon Dieu qu'ils sont doux
Zou bisou bisou {x3}
Zou bisou zou bisou
Le bruit des bisous
Dans les buissons, sous le ciel du mois-a d'août
Les amoureux glissent à pas de loup
Comme les oiseaux ils ont rendez-vous
On entend partout, hou !
Zou bisou bisou {x3}
Zou bisou zou bisou
Mon Dieu qu'ils sont doux
Hou, hou !
(Zou bisou bisou)
Mais dites-moi, savez-vous (Zou bisou bisou)
Ce que veut dire entre nous
(Zou bisou bisou zou bisou zou bisou
Mon Dieu que c'est doux)
Ce que veut dire zou bisou ?
(Zou bisou bisou)
Ça veut dire je vous l'avoue (Zou bisou bisou)
Mais oui je n'aime que vous
Zou bisou bisou zou bisou zou bisou
Mon Dieu que c'est doux
Mais pas besoin des buissons du mois-a d'août
Quand tu m'embrasses doucement dans le cou
Car c'est curieux, tu vois, je l'avoue
Ça me fait partout, hou !
Zou bisou bisou {x3}
Zou bisou zou bisou
Mon Dieu que c'est doux
Hou, hou !
Zou bisou bisou
Zou bisou zou bisou
Des petits bisous
Zou bisou bisou
Oh !

Some other information about the song can be found here:

http://news.yahoo.com/zou-bisou-bisou-scoop-bizarre-french-song-mad-142500671.html

Junior MasterChef Australia

One of my favourite shows!

These kids’ culinary skills could put some adults to shame. It is a good quality programme that kids should watch.

I always felt that a cooking competition is healthier than taking part in a karaoke or beauty contest.

Boulder's Spinach & Artichoke Chips

I saw this brand of chips going on sales at the Cold Storage.

The Boulder Canyon's Kettle Cooked Potato Chips cost $3.60 per pack.

I was quite intrigued by the Spinach and Artichoke flavour and so bought it to try. It is not very often that we see chips flavoured solely with vegetables. Spinach I know had a bitter taste that normally existed in vegetables,  but what does an artichoke taste like? I never had that before.

When first popped open the packet, one will get an almost familiar smell. I am sure I smell it somewhere, but wasn't quite sure what it was.

The chips were cut in good size. They are cut just like any kettle-cooked chips should be. For those who never had kettled-cooked chips, they are thicker than Jack and Jills' wafer thin chips.

It has a nice colour - beautiful golden brown and a good crunch too.

Upon the first bite, the strangely familiar taste finally hit a match in my taste database.

The chips smell and taste as though it was flavoured with pepper and a hint of basil.

I don't really taste the spinach though and I also wasn't sure if that is how artichoke should taste like.

In fact, it was quite salty after a few chips more.

Verdict: Can try a packet if you are curious, but it wouldn't be on my buy-list again.

If I were Warhol – Ayam Brand Sardines

Attention, Pop art lovers! Marina Bay Sands’ ArtScience Museum is bringing in Andy Warhol artwork to Singapore.

The exhibition titled Andy Warhol: 15 Minutes Eternal features over 260 paintings, drawings, sculptures, film and video. Well, no sure whether I should go or not as no photography or videography allowed.

On a side note, I read that a Singaporean visual artist Jahan Loh painted a tongue-in-cheek version of Warhol’s famous Campbell Soup can - The Luncheon Meat Can. His painting will also go on display.

He told ChannelNewsAsia that:

"I chose a very common reference point which is canned food. It's clearly a tongue in cheek poke at Andy Warhol's Campbell's soup, but contextualised within our Singaporean, Asian context. Certain similarities are deliberate, but other things are very different if you look carefully. I think maybe Andy Warhol would have painted luncheon meat if he'd tasted it."

Well, I thought I can create digital version of tongue-in-cheek Warhol’s can painting too. I dedicate the following graphics to my Mum. It is her favourite can food – The Ayam Brand Sardines.

It’s quite interesting isn’t it? Maybe I will start doing a series of Warhol’s Can Photosophize style.

Well, here is episode one – The Ayam Brand Sardines can.

Press release here: http://www.marinabaysands.com/Singapore-Museum/Whats-On/

The Book of the Dead: Lives of the Justly Famous and the Undeservedly Obscure

I am currently reading this book - The Book of the Dead: Lives of the Justly Famous and the Undeservedly Obscure.

After hanging around in the digital age long enough, I find that my attention span is getting shorter and shorter. It's more difficult to finish a novel nowadays. I almost never did manage to finish any book in recent years.

In fact, the last book that I managed to finish reading and in about three days was the last sequel of the Harry Potter series. I wouldn't be surprised if someone had told me that Ms JK Rowling had cast a magic spell on it and that why we are all hooked reading it.

Anyway because of my shorter attention span, I would chose books with many little stories instead to keep me interested. And the book of the dead is one of such books.

It's a compilation of short life stories of many famous "dead" historic figures like Christopher Anderson, Sigmund Freud, Leonardo Da Vinci to some people whom you might have heard of but not really know much about them like Mrs Mao Ze Dong for example.

So, these famous people were first grouped into thematic chapters like "Bad Start in Life" and "Happy Go Lucky", as if to suggest why they were the person they were. Then every person's life story is summarised into a few pages. Most of the information that you should know or didn't know about the person is highlighted. Then they elaborated only the more interesting bits of their lives in slightly longer paragraphs.

I find it quite interesting and enriching. I could read the life stories of a couple of people then put the book aside when I get bored. After a few days, then pick it up again without feeling missing out on something. The content quite easy to digest as well, almost like reading a tabloid but with historical facts and backing in it.

The authors, John Mitchinson and John Lloyd apparently had a series of books under similar theme – I bet you didn’t know about this. Maybe when I finish the book, I will buy the rest of their series. I quite like this one : The Book of Animal Ignorance: Everything you think you know is wrong.

Read more from Google Books review:

• The Book of the Dead: Lives of the Justly Famous and the Undeservedly Obscure
• The Book of Animal Ignorance: Everything You Think You Know Is Wrong

Photosophize is now a Dot Com!

Cheers, everyone! Photosophize is now a Dot Com!

For the past two years, I haven’t been spending much time on Photosophize. Studies and work took up a lot of my time that I didn’t even check the email.

My apologies to Andra Leo. She had wrote in sometime last year to ask whether she can use one of my photos for her magazine but I didn’t manage to reply in time. I felt very flattered that my photo was considered in the first place. If there is another opportunity, I will provide you with the photo you needed, Andra.

And there is another email from Renee asking whether I would like to review a book about Ophichus. Wow, but I am not very sure whether I can do a good job reviewing books. I haven’t done reviews before. I must stress that I am not a professional astrologist. I am just a curious girl who likes to read about interesting stuff.

Besides, my English command is still quite bad. I sometimes just don’t know what is wrong with my grammar even though I read my writing many times over. I guessed this is what happen when you study in a Chinese school without a good English foundation.

I am back on blogosphere and maybe for good. I will review the content, returning Photosophize back to its root – about photos and things that people do not usually notice. I will also take more photos of Singapore, my beloved home.

Food reviews and recipes has been one of the most popular reads on this blog. But I am in serious dilemma on whether to still put up food recipes or reviews on this blog or to move them to a new blog.

If you have been a long-time reader of Photosophize, do write in and tell me which section interests you the most. I do check my email daily now.

Have a joyful Monday, everyone!

Going serious with Nikon DSLR D5100!

I scored a really good deal at the recently ended IT show - I bought a DSLR camera finally!

I have to stress that I have not received any endorsement fees from any companies. I paid for the camera myself and these are just my personal opinions.

I did some research on which brand of camera to buy previously. There aren’t many choices for DSLR camera really and most people I know will only consider two brands.

In the end, I chose Nikon because they gave me a deal I couldn’t resist. Come on, Nikon basically gave buyers a full kit with any DSLR camera purchased. Best of all, they didn’t even need to advertise separately about the user guide as it came included with every purchase of camera as it rightly should!

The D5100 camera comes with a REAL 20 liters dry cabinet, a lowepro bag, a Manfrotto Velos 3 backpack, two 16 gb SD card, a full-size tripod, cleaning kit and card reader! How to top that?

They basically outdone themselves this time round. I remembered few years back they weren’t even participating in the IT show.

Anyway, I am very impressed and thankful to Nikon for offering such a good deal. Their generosity save a beginner like me a lot of trouble and money from having to buy these items separately from other vendors.

One tip for people who might want to buy stuff from the IT show but not sure how to do it – I usually prefer to buy directly from the manufacturers themselves – for example buy Nikon cameras from Nikon booth, Dell computers from Dell booth for example.

At these large IT shows, manufacturers will group several vendors together and make one-off deals which only varies from day to day. The manufacturers themselves called the shots and hold the lines on what freebies to give. This gave consumers some assurance, I feel.

With the new camera, I am going to re-organise my blog and start to express my thoughts through photos. I think I have whine enough during this two and a half years. It is time to start observing the world again and see more! 

Stay tune!

What makes us human then?

This incident almost slips off my mind until I was reminded of it recently. It happened during the Lunar New Year holidays. 

I had wanted to get papers from the near-by 7/11 when I saw a few stray dogs roaming around the neighbourhood.

They all appeared thin and bony and they were poking around. I had the feeling that they were looking for food.

I didn’t pay much attention to them and continued my journey.

At the shop, my conscience was pricking. We were so well-fed during this festive season, to the point of overeating but these poor stray animals were hungry to the bones.

I couldn’t bear the thought and so went on to buy them some food.

Not sure why, but that particular 7/11 didn’t stock up pet food. The next best meaty canned food was spam.

I know, I know. Spam is salty and they aren’t good for dogs. But I rather see them full than being hungry for the rest of the night. And a can of spam aren’t cheap either. It came from Dutch and cost a whopping $6.

To reduce the saltiness and to bulk up the food, I bought some bread and milk to feed them.

It feels almost like a picnic when I sat down at the bench laying out all the food stuff.

I did sacrifice a lot for doing this. You never know how many dirty looks and murmurs I had to endure when people walked past me.  Who can blame them? I also think I looked like a freaking lunatic who is trying to stuff self silly with bread and spam in the middle of the night.

And if I didn’t mention, I had a phobia of dogs since young. I get very nervous and panicky when a dog comes near me. This feeding dog operation wasn’t really easy for me. 

Armed with a pair of wooden chopstick and big cups, I mixed the expensive spam, milk and bread to form a comforting mushy paste.

I carefully place the mash on a near-by grass patch and retreated to a safe distance to observe them.

Minutes later, one of the dogs came by. It moved faster and faster as the nose picked up on the savoury meaty scent. I was so excited when it finally found the food.

The dog smells a bit more and took a few bites. To my surprise, it flee off immediately after those few bites.

I was quite sad, thinking what is wrong with the food.

Isn’t it hungry at all?

Just as I was puzzling away, the dog came back and this time round with a companion.

It had then became clear to me.

The first dog had ran off to alert its partner about the food! It even let the partner eat first, while it waited hungrily at the side. The other one took a few bites, then moved back to allow his partner to take a few bites as well.

I was so touched at that moment looking at them.

All these while, science has taught us that human is human because we have compassion and humanity, but animals don’t.

At that point, I am not sure if this is still true.

I have seen a lot of times of how animals have more compassion and humanity than humans.

From body language and everything, you wouldn’t see a fake thought or feeling from them. They are always genuine and they treated others like so.

And then you looked at how we communicate with our own species. We are supposedly more superior than the animals. We have our own languages and some of us bilingual even but it is so hard to communicate clearly with one another. Worse, people lie literately and sometimes undermining others as if the other party couldn’t tell apart…

That is why it is in fact easier to “communicate” with animals than with humans, I sometimes find.

So what makes us human then?

I think we should take a good moment to ponder over it. Who know, it may be time to redefine humanity or find out what lacks of it.

Adele - Someone like you (Live in her home)

Woh, I wish I could sing live like Adele does. Freaking good voice.

She represents hope to plus size people out there. Please also note our talent, not just our size. Big girls can be beautiful too. I hope fashion houses will do more plus size clothing because of her fame. 

I brought myself a AT2020 last year and I want to start record my singing vocal. I like to think that I have a pretty good voice.

Maybe I will be famous one day and I will record this song.

Yeah! Speechless no more!

Happy days! Finally, speechless no more.

Such a feeling coming over me
There is wonder in most everything I see
Not a cloud in the sky Got the sun in my eyes
And I won't be surprised if it's a dream

There's a pleasing sense of happiness for me.

Speechless

Speechless seems to be the preferred mode of communication for many.

I, for one, cannot comprehend what people meant by speechless. Is it a Yes or No? Is the person angry? Is the person disappointed? What does the person want?

Tell me. Confront me. Be frank. Score me even. I can take it all.

Ok, maybe it is more polite than than shouting at one in email/in person.

And I admit I also like to be speechless when I cannot bring myself to shout at people.

Come on, no one likes losing. I don’t have to be reminded that I lost. Once, twice but many times? What is the intention then, I can’t help wondering when it is done on purpose for that many times. Why would you want to bring up something that you know it is hurtful to another person? I don’t wish to hear anything about it. It is the most regrettable thing in my life.

Maybe the person should back down and be nice. Stop being so nasty and scheming. There is karma and it will hit you where it is hardest. 

Of course Karma comes after everyone including me. I am also reflecting on many matters that happened recently. Useless me disappointed a nice person thoroughly. I was reprimanded by my conscience every day. I blew up my only chance to achieve something great in my life. I have to live in regret forever.

Unless the person decides to give me a chance, but I doubt so… I don’t deserve it. Then some other person also becomes speechless suddenly. Well, well what have I done? Maybe I should refrain from communicating with anyone for now. 

Let’s all be speechless.

Could we fix you if you broke?
And is your punch line just a joke?

I'll never talk again,
oh boy, you've left me speechless
You've left me speechless, so speechless

I'll never write a song, won't even sing along

Will you ever talk again?
Oh boy, why you so speechless? Oh, oh

The almost ended glamourous era - Goodbye Feng Fei Fei

I had a shock yesterday to read that Taiwan's evergreen superstar - Feng Fei Fei died of lungs cancer. What is even more shocking was how she had died exactly one month ago, but news of her death had only surfaced now in this media savvy time and age.

Feng had left final words with her lawyer to keep news of her death under wrap until the Chinese New Year has passed. It was reported that she doesn't want her fans to be sad during the festive season...

I find this act very considerate, touching and admirable. Sometimes public figures like singers and actors kept lamenting that they are humans too and how they weren't getting enough privacy that they forgot that they have a responsibility to be answerable to their fans.

Feng Fei Fei understands her position and has handled the matter in the best interest of her fans... Maybe that is why she has many ardent fans and followers who are willing to wait twenty years for her return from hiatus.

There is something about stars from the past decades.

I mean look at her performance. It represents the glorious and glamourous age of stars and stardom. People like Feng Fei Fei, Teresa Teng, Leslie Cheung and Anita Mui are not merely singers, but charismatic performers. They are stars. Their mere presence already heightens the performance before they even start singing.

And then take a hard look at the current Asia pop arena,  how many of the singers can really sing, not even talking about singing live even and perform like they do? There are some, but one can probably count them with one hand.

Not sure what is missing, but there aren't any stars from the younger batch of singers. If this is considered as the end of an era, then the last star still shining in current pop arena is probably Zhang Hui Mei.

Maybe there is some truth in this saying after all - Star are born and not made.

Feng Jie, thank you all the many classics and may you rest in peace.

凤飞飞 - 相思爬上心底

Web of complications

It is officially a web of complications. I don’t think any spider can get out of the tangle which I have written. I doubt anyone will understand what I am trying to argue. 

Not even my lecturer, Mr Trelawney.

I am dead… Argghhh.

I did it again…

I admit I have been an inconsiderate, lazy spoilt brat who have caused a lot of inconveniences.

For all the mess I have created, I should bury myself six feet under and rot.

Why can’t I just follow the norm and do what was required, instead of being so ambitious? Never trouble trouble till trouble troubles you. I just couldn’t live with an easier life, don’t I?

Why can’t I just stick to the rules and try not break any of it?

Then in the irony of all these mess, I have also unwillingly build up an anticipation so huge that I may not be able to fulfill it.

I should have learnt the lesson already... I feel very sorry and I really didn’t meant it. 

On a separate note, I am quite upset that people are not taking me seriously.

I am indeed a diploma grad and I took a degree course from private school. God and perhaps my lecturers, will know how hard I have worked for the degree course but the stigma reminds.

People don’t believe in the standard of a private school. Indeed, it perhaps cannot compare with the local trinity, but does it meant that all that I have studied and worked so hard for are just a mirage. I will not make any sense at all in my points.

I wonder why I worked so hard for then all these years… Have all the lecturers been lying to us then?

Disappointed with self…

The lesson of fairness and equality

For those who still want to argue about fairness and equality, get this very clear - nothing is fair and some people are indeed more equal than others.

Last lag of the graduation race and I realised that there is an award for the best performing student of the cohort. I guess I am out of the race. Surely, there is someone who has scored more As than me. One of my groupmates might be. Her results are neck in neck with me. And I think I might have lost to her because of the liabilities of a few more Cs, thanks to Mr Spoonfeeder, the crazy woman and Ms Heels.

I feel very strongly that they haven’t been very fair to me. They have marked me down unfairly.

If it is not us, there are also few others who are quite hardworking as well. Maybe they had a smoother sailing academic life than us, who knows.

Ok, I have never set out to top the class and I probably can’t. But to see that I could have a close shot at it and miss it, that is just disappointing.

Anyway, I better go and finish my final assignment. I had again chosen a difficult route for myself… Long story in short, it has to do with reading tea leaves again.

Wish me luck!

Crossroads once more

School is coming to an end soon. I just finished my last unit and I am graduating this year. I can’t help but to be amazed at how fast time has passed.

The great news is that I have got my milestone grade with a record breaking score that I have ever gotten in the entire course. I guessed Dr Starry Starry Night really like our project and presentation very, very much. And for a good moment during that module, I thought I couldn’t make it as I am not good at reading tea leaves.

This degree course didn’t come by easy. Hence, I have vowed to work very hard and to get as many As as possible. I  have made true to that promise – I have half of my grades in As. All the hard work and effort I had put in paid off.

Despite all the complaints and whines that I have made during these years, I realized that I really love studying. Rather sadly, it is what I do best currently in life - I have basically failed miserably in all other aspects of my life.

Can’t say that I feel better. I am still lost. I have no faith in anything. Self-esteem called and said that it is not planning to come back anytime soon, while the thing called life continues to mock at me at every possible way. In summary, I just feel fat and worthless.

If I still believed in God, he did try to make rock-bottom more comfortable and welcoming by decorating the place with little packages of joy and trimmings of hope. I did feel a brief moment of happiness when I opened some of the joy and hope packages. But they were not enough to outlast the night. And God, there were some long long nights.

During this dark moment I was contemplating to leave everything I once knew and to start afresh somewhere else. Again, I realised I was behind the norm again. I wanted badly to pursue what I should be pursuing in life. Alas, life at this current stage prevents me from executing the plan. There again, life – 1 and me – 0.

How can life not win me when it has persuaders like my mum who may be right in thinking that I may not be able to do it, I shouldn’t think big, I cannot achieve something else, I should be grateful…All because I am fat.

Sometimes, I cannot help but to question whether this is really the truth. I can’t really make it in life apart from where I am now? I cannot adapt to a new life in my current self? Am I really that bad as a person? Why do I have to be so grounded? Why can’t I dream and do bigger things in life (apart from being bigger size)?

Why??

In truth, I have never feel like a loser until recently. There are always people for some reasons who like to highlight they are so much smarter while I am always stupid and ignorant in their eyes…Just like some of my newer classmates. Like how they start countering your arguments with flawed ones when the information is obviously in the reading which they didn’t read. 

In situation like that, I sometimes can’t help laughing mentally when their contempt starts. I don’t correct them doesn’t mean that I don’t know. They have never considered the fact that maybe I am just being polite not wanting to point their errors out.

Then again, I may not write grammatically correct English, but it does not meant that I can’t rationalised things with facts obviously laid out in front of me. It is possible for me to have an average IQ score even though I don’t look like it. I also find it difficult to adjust at times to all these belittling acts when none of my lecturers or my long time classmates see me that way - a stupid girl.

Anyhow, I have enough of all these rubbish treatments. I am going to take a tighter control of my life. I have bigger dreams to follow in life. I am not going to waste my precious time on people who do not believe in me. Life is too short to be wasted like that.

For better or for worse, I don’t know. I firmly believed that God will never close a door on people who work hard to strive for a better life. I am putting my future in his hands and bravely face whatever that come my way.  

Jamie Oliver Food Revolution – Ammonia Beef

Fast food lovers should watch this video and it will put you off your favourite hamburgers as fast as 123. Guaranteed!

I don’t eat beef and I seldom eat fast food. I do believe that the food industries probably do the same with other meats as well in some processed food as well. I probably eaten tons of it.

Looking at this video, maybe it is our doing that this world will be coming to an end, if there were any truth in the 2012 end of world rumour.

May God save us all! Yucks!